At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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