if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
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Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
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Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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