god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize