u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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