YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize