ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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