Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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