Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize