Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
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I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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