You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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