I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
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after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
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I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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