I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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