Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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