what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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