I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize