So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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