I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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