I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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