Sponge bath it is.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
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Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
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Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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