we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
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I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
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Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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