Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
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After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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