Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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