i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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