You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize