I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
