Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize