I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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