Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize