all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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