would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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