I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize