Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
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So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
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She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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