I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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