actually, I'm a sock model
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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