What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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