I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize