Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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