Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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