I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize