i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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