I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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