I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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