either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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