She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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