I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
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I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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