If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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