The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize