Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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