I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize