She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize