Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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